INNER BEAUTY BLOG
 If you don't let go and grow- Than your experience is just a victim of circumstance. - J. Circosta Have you ever experienced the light of revelation? A complete moment of surprise, struck with awe of an otherwise unknown understanding that enlightens you and dramatically shifts your whole life experience--in the snap of a moment! Just like that, you receive a power that widens your point of view in an instant of knowledge. In an instant of knowing, you are given a broader scope of vision and the grace of complete understanding. Well, if you haven’t seen the light, I suggest you open your mind to it right away--it’s definitely worth the wait. But seriously, how often can you say you experienced a revelation? Do you remember that precious moment in time--that instant spark of knowing? Can you think of those moments that changed the course of your life? I’ll go one better, do you remember having that “Ah-Ha!” moment, allowing that information to penetrate and then actually applying it to your life? Now, that’s the big one! Life is full of questions but when we receive an answer, something magical happens… That’s the mystical power and path of perspective that leads you to the gifts of revelation. Perspective is the master guide of direction. It shows up wide and expansive dressed in full shades of intricately designed phenomenon. It nudges your comfort zones with gentle shifts in consciousness that influence a different set of choices, guiding your actions in ways that can course correct patterned behaviors. Perspective is a magician of sorts--invoking information behind the scenes of your mind and working to move it into proper placement. As it weaves its magic inside your mind, you get a glimpse of the illusion that keeps you comfortable from a vaster point of view. You see the whole picture--it’s a quick and fleeting moment and when you see it, you are struck! The protection of the illusion briefly falls away and you are given new choices needed for a successful outcome, in line with a deeper understanding for greater growth. You are enlightened and the life experience you once knew to be true is now changed forever. These last 3 months have been pretty intense for me, as I’m sure it's been for many other people as well. I’ve faced 2 sudden deaths in my family, surgery, and some really old emotional issues making their way up into my awareness. It’s been my experience, when old emotional issues rise to consciousness awareness, life seems to set up the perfect circumstance to either continue the same emotional patterns and behaviors or really Open Eyes Wide to a different set of choices that can change the previous path of experience, for good. A friend of mine appeared to drop the ball and left a team project without word or why, for such a sudden withdrawal and absence. I felt deeply hurt and bewildered by this action and I was put into a position of full responsibility that was intended to be divided between several players. Now, everything landed on my lap and I was made to look somewhat like a trouble maker. I felt angry, dejected, and deeply disappointed. Suddenly, I was alone and having that experience triggers a deep sense of abandonment for me. I needed some sense of connection and support by my friend who unexpectedly decided to leave the project. And so the stage was set- The players took their places and the events replicated childhood issues of abandonment and rejection. I thought, here I am again--alone, disappointed and hurt. Well, the natural thing to do was to do what I always did. Put up my invisible steel wall of ice, stick my chin up, suck my gut in, stuff my pain down, and pretend my ex-friend, didn’t exist. My behavior would be such that I would isolate this person and myself and that would teach them! They would be taught a lesson, while I sat safe in my comfort zone. But was I really comfortable...? Was I comfortable sitting in isolation...? Was I really comfortable cutting this person off as if they no longer existed? Was I comfortable swallowing my emotions and pretending I wasn’t hurt…? Was I comfortable feeling like the little girl who was left behind again… and now presently? I really wasn’t comfortable at all… That started me thinking. I began to think about different ways I could re-approach this circumstance. The different ways that would work toward a successful experience in my favor. I saw myself clearly falling into the same old, comfortable illusion that no longer worked for me. This time, I made a decision to make different choices in thought, circumstance and behavior. I started right away! First thing I did was clarify the responsibility of all the players and my personal intention. That alleviated the feeling of taking on full responsibility as well as simplified my part in the whole. I thought about the other people I knew I could trust. Those people that consistently showed consideration of me and my feelings and I spent time with them. That eliminated self-isolation and was a great form of self-care and nurture. I took the steel wall of ice down and allowed myself to remain open and permeable to others, including my ex-friend, allowing acknowledgment without the people pleasing need to prove otherwise. This eliminated isolating other people, evaporated self-judgment as well as any judgments toward others. There was no, “That’ll teach them!” on the table because I accepted myself and the actions of others without taking it on personally. Rather than stuffing my feelings down, I chose to feel them and take care of my own needs, moment to moment… to moment. Now, that’s freedom! I no longer felt bewildered because I became clear about my choices in the present. I no longer felt alone. Instead, I made an effort to engage and connect with the people I trusted, reinforcing the sense of belonging. I wasn’t even disappointed because I satisfied my current self.
Now, don’t get me wrong, a change in perspective doesn’t wipe the default patterns clearly away. Remember, perspective only opens your mind and shows you new directions, gives you a glimpse of a greater path and potential. You still have to make the different choices and implement them over and over again. It is a diligent practice and enlightened discovery. Believe me, I was still uncomfortable but this time it was in a very different way. I had to continue to take care of myself and consistently reinforce each new choice and behavior to work for me to ensure the success of a different outcome. And I did it--each time, every time. By the end of the day my feelings lightened and my mood lifted. I was no longer burdened by the past or events that took place. I was learning how to live in the truth of right now. Oh, and by the way, after a few weeks our friendship slowly came back on board. It’s viewed from a different perspective now but nonetheless no one was cast to the deserted island of shame. That at one time or another, everyone has either gone to or come from. After some time, I thought about how different this whole situation turned out for me. It occurred to me coming from a situation like that I was actually happy. Then it hit me--I was struck! I realized, I walked away from that circumstance intact… I feel happy and resolved without bitterness, resentment, hurt or anger hanging on to me and I’m not alone. I thought to myself, could it be that easy to change a whole circumstance simply by making a different choice? Could it possibly be that simple…? Well, I’m here to tell you it is possible and it is that simple. Discovery Exercise: 1- Are you willing to take an honest look at the comfort zones holding you back? 2- Where can a change in perspective be a source of enlightenment and rejuvenation for you? 3- How can you apply that information into your life now, today, and every day after? Write it down. Have fun with it! Love, Jennifer
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 April shower's bring May flower's... What's blooming inside your heart?
Beauty is everywhere, it’s found in the flowers and in the showers! We just need to take a deeper look and not overlook that which cleanses us as well. Recently, within the last 2 months I’ve been experiencing complicated feelings of pain in the back portion of my heart. The pain settles deep into the layers of muscle between my shoulder blades. Then it travels up my back and along the left side of my neck with shooting pain that goes all the way up to my left ear. Sometimes the pain is so strong and debilitating it will zip down my arm into my wrist and fingertips, leaving me with a sharp and numbing sensation. The pain can be so intense at times that it can restrict my ability to move my head. In fact, one day I woke up in utter agony and as my eyes began to open I said out loud, “This is so painful, it feels like someone stabbed me in the back!” Then I realized, someone did… Actually, more than a lot of "someone’s" have stabbed me in the back during the course of my life and with that, I knew something inside me was trying to speak. Something deep inside was trying to communicate there were adjustments to be made. Somewhere, deep inside my spirit was crying, pleading and begging for my attention to listen. This pain was urging me to take care of myself in a healthier way. In a way that would shift me and cause significant change. Therefore, this month’s focus will be on the heart. When I focus on the qualities of energy I always begin at the most tangible position of understanding, the physical body. Pain speaks through the body, all feelings do and it gives you a location attention. For me, the physical location of attention was the back of my heart and shoulder blades or my wings. The energy that resides here, at the center of the heart projects out and moves like a funnel toward the back body. This energy effects the front and back chest, shoulders, arms, wrists and fingers. This makes up the physical section and energy extension of the heart center or 4th Chakra. When you feel fulfilled or happy, energy projects outward and expands from all sides like a balloon and when you feel unfulfilled or hurt, energy will siphon inward toward the back body. Most times, the back body becomes the dumping ground for emotions that we choose not to deal with. The heart says, "Come and rest in the center of love for my energy is where emotions reside." The heart is the chamber of the body that generates, contains, and puts forth what you feel into the world and to those around you. The heart moves you. It teaches you about internal movement--that which motivates you from the inside. The heart doesn’t just see with certainty, the heart feels. It knows the truth and speaks through you within those silent sensations and gentle nuances that you can feel in your bones and deep inside your spirit. The heart center deals with relationships and as social beings, our focus tends to generally be on the happiness or sadness of the various relationships we have with other people in our lives. With that said, through my exploration of this complicated pain living in the back of my heart, it became clear to me that I had been carrying deep seeded disappointment and resentments for a very long time. I stored them there. I shoved them to the back of my heart and laid them dormant for a very long time. My heart was tired, bruised and in tremendous pain. And now, it was shaking things up--the BOOM before my BLOOM, so to speak. It was quite evident that my spirit no longer wanted to hold on to those things that kept me stuck. The pain was the signal that moved me to recognize its time to unglue that which binds me. It's time to allow this movement inside me to happen so I can get on board in new ways of thought, new ways of felt sense, and new ways of being present within myself and in my relationships. You may be able to begin to see how the threads of all the bodies; physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, energetic or ethereal connect together and begin to work here. How these bodies show up and function as a unit of information that starts to weave together the point of focus for healing. What does that mean? Well, first I felt pain (emotional body) in the back of my heart (physical body). I began to think about why it hurts so much (mental body). After thinking, feeling, and exploring the physical location I received an insight (spiritual body). Which, if I choose to make changes or not either way, my energy will be directly affected (ethereal body). In short, this is one unit or thread of communication working together to push forth a shift to cause significant change. Now, the heart doesn’t just focus on love type relationships or just specific people but it represents all types of relationships for example, the relationship you have with your job, your work, your health, food--what you eat or what you don’t eat, your overall well-being and of course, the relationship with yourself. The heart looks at the bigger picture of relationship and asks you to make choices based on how you truly feel. The heart is no wuss but sometimes we can be… Mainly, when we discount how we feel. We run, hide, change, deny or shove the energy of the heart to the back. When we are not honest about how we feel we soil our truth and that becomes a relationship in need of repair. The kind of relationship worth repairing, wouldn’t you say? When you place your focus on others, you lose sight of your own needs and desires of fulfillment. You neglect the relationship with your heart which by virtue of feeling, establishes the alignment of your truth. Your heart is the vehicle of motion that builds, creates and manifests the very nature of that which you truly desire to experience. The experience to live your truth. If you're unhappy in your relationships, any relationship, check your heart alignment and listen for your truth. There is clarity and gusto in your ability to thrive according to your will which in the gentle folds of the heart, simply rests the Will of God. The truth of your soul begins the relationship with your heart and the actions you take in accordance with your truth, is the experience that grooms you to bloom. April shower's indeed bring May flower's- Where does your focus need to be--on the shower or the flower? Remember, beauty is everywhere. It's found in the flowers and in the showers. We just need to take a deeper look and not overlook that which cleanses us as well. Discovery Exercise: 1- What is the truth of my heart? 2- What do the pains in my body represent? 3- In which areas of life can I add more movement? 4- What are my needs and desires in relationships? 5- Am I ready to put myself first and build relationship with the truth inside my heart? Write it down. Have fun with it! Love, Jennifer |
TIS` THE SEASON OF HEART
December can be quite a magical month and fulfilling time of year. We get a chance to embrace the spirit of holidays and witness the wonder through the eyes of children and adults alike. Tis` the season of heart, when the world steps into a place of family, togetherness, and hope. It’s an end of a year that begins an active path into giving and receiving, rooted in a coming together of values and the essence of home. The season fills the atmosphere with magic; crisp air and snow falling from sky, lights aglow on streets and in homes, long gazes into loved one’s eyes by the crackles of fire and sparks of sweet-hearts. We take care, nestling into hearty foods like soups, stews, and hot chocolate. We bundle up with sweaters, scarves, blankets and loved ones and we find ourselves surround by light, the illumination of our hopes and dreams in the stillness of love within our hearts.
The heart symbolizes life, love and the engagement in partnership. The heart never leads alone... It never beats alone... One pulse follows the other in the direction of union. A sense of union requires partnership. We learn to connect and re-connect through the heart-experience, magnified between a pair of arms that allow us to reach out and touch what we love, while, cradled and comforted between two breasts that safely hold what we feel. We are given an opportunity to feel the magic of life, connection and harmony both, individually and collectively. The season of heart reminds us in order to create a spark of life, we cannot go at it alone. We simply relate and create in a blended continuum of wholeness. The heart does not beat alone... It does not lead alone... One pulse follows the other in complete unification. This is a time of un-veiling, re-vealing, and an un-folding of self to the inner sweetness of comfort and warmth. It’s a reminder of the mother-child experience, the inner connection and bond of unconditional love. Our very own place to rest soulfully in the wonder and awe, completely disarmed and embraced in the natural state of being. The heart leads us to a clear passage and cleansing, a shedding of old, a point to nurture life and all that we live for. It is a space given in which to surrender, to lay down a clean slate, to be re-born in concept as we celebrate into the new, calm and cradled in the mother energy, inside the season of heart. Love, Jennifer #HeartSeason #SpiritofCalm&Comfort #MotherEnergy #CradledInHeartEnergy #TistheSeasonforMagic #HeldinLight CONSCIOUS BALANCE
It’s time to get out of the “cookie cutter” version of what healing should look like and shift back into our own personal guidance and experience. Sometimes, the path to healing has us feeling off center and it’s cause for questioning but we forget, feeling off center is also for good purpose. The center balances opposing sides and reveals a place of wholeness. When the scale tips toward into the wound, the other side of balance is overlooked. The gift of wholeness is to be open and available to both sides and to integrate them into conscious balance. Your personal path to healing begins inside wholeness not in one side of experience. Let’s look at pain for example. I’ve thought about pain. Pain is real. Pain is relentless. It reveals itself through the body, not just inside it. It wants to be seen. It beckons to be heard. It tugs at you every minute of every day. Pain is restrictive, trapped in the body with no space for joy and we suffer. Pain is suffering, the physical manifestation of held in, held back, shut down and buried emotion. Your physical body can become the storehouse for ignored, unacknowledged and suppressed emotional energy. Pain is an internal broadcast system for the feelings buried inside, screaming to be heard. To be acknowledged. To be cleared. To be loved.
Every healing journey will not look the same. It’s a personal pursuit-
Have you ever sat with the inner voice of your own pain? I have. Pain is a lot more than just what we name it. It’s a culmination of stuck emotions, blocked feelings, experiences, memories, unconscious belief systems and unhealthy patterns. Because of this, healing can be an evolution of all experience and acknowledging what exists inside you, begins the path that serves as a direction. All of it is important information to construct a very intimate healing experience. Sometimes the tendency is to give up because you don’t like what you see and it can be hard to move through. This is when healing becomes dedication and time becomes discovery. I thought about pain. I’ve had pain. I’ve worked with pain and then it occurred to me. It came into me like a whole being awareness. The other side of pain, is pleasure. Pleasure. What a revelation! In all these years, it never occurred to me that pleasure was a root deficiency to my experience of pain. I was totally invested inside the pain that I missed out on any form of pleasure. I never embraced the joy of life and in being because I never thought to look at the other side of what the experience of pain had to offer.
I thank God for that moment in wholeness. It moved me. Pleasure was now in the game and enjoying my life became priority. When you embrace the other side, you stop brow beating the wound. You cease falling back into rigid, perfectionism disguised as discipline and the “trigger” has a place to go, a space to flourish. My personal healing did not look like the ideal or what I had anticipated. I found rest. I witnessed no more pushing into life or wanting to force forward. I could feel the grip loosen, I allowed some fun and sweeter foods, exercise was no longer a bloodbath but now conscious movement based on my needs for that day. Yes, I gained some weight but I also embraced that weight and loved myself anyway. My healing journey through pain helped me find a better balance within myself, a conscious balance. It helped me find the opening to the possibility of having pleasure move through me and integrate it into my experience. When you make your healing journey personal; it moves you, it changes you, it transforms you into a state of inner-conscious being. Shift away from the “call to action” approach to healing and move deeper into intimate understanding. Let that be the life-giving medicine you take in. Love, Jennifer🌸 -Releasing Emotional Patterns #BecomeYourInnerMostBeing #ConsciousBalance #WoundsAreOurGreatestTeachers #SeektheOtherSide #BecomeWhole #WholnessMatters AUTHOR OF INNER BEAUTY BLOGSJennifer is a truth seeker and artistic expressionist. She is certified energy therapist, emotional wellness coach, yoga/meditation instructor and intuitive. She is known her poetry and the deep care she feels for others. Archives
August 2023
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