Than your experience is just a victim of circumstance.
- J. Circosta
Have you ever experienced the light of revelation? A complete moment of surprise, struck with awe of an otherwise unknown understanding that enlightens you and dramatically shifts your whole life experience--in the snap of a moment! Just like that, you receive a power that widens your point of view in an instant of knowledge. In an instant of knowing, you are given a broader scope of vision and the grace of complete understanding. Well, if you haven’t seen the light, I suggest you open your mind to it right away--it’s definitely worth the wait.
But seriously, how often can you say you experienced a revelation? Do you remember that precious moment in time--that instant spark of knowing? Can you think of those moments that changed the course of your life? I’ll go one better, do you remember having that “Ah-Ha!” moment, allowing that information to penetrate and then actually applying it to your life? Now, that’s the big one!
Life is full of questions but when we receive an answer, something magical happens…
That’s the mystical power and path of perspective that leads you to the gifts of revelation.
Perspective is the master guide of direction. It shows up wide and expansive dressed in full shades of intricately designed phenomenon. It nudges your comfort zones with gentle shifts in consciousness that influence a different set of choices, guiding your actions in ways that can course correct patterned behaviors. Perspective is a magician of sorts--invoking information behind the scenes of your mind and working to move it into proper placement. As it weaves its magic inside your mind, you get a glimpse of the illusion that keeps you comfortable from a vaster point of view. You see the whole picture--it’s a quick and fleeting moment and when you see it, you are struck! The protection of the illusion briefly falls away and you are given new choices needed for a successful outcome, in line with a deeper understanding for greater growth. You are enlightened and the life experience you once knew to be true is now changed forever.
These last 3 months have been pretty intense for me, as I’m sure it's been for many other people as well. I’ve faced 2 sudden deaths in my family, surgery, and some really old emotional issues making their way up into my awareness. It’s been my experience, when old emotional issues rise to consciousness awareness, life seems to set up the perfect circumstance to either continue the same emotional patterns and behaviors or really Open Eyes Wide to a different set of choices that can change the previous path of experience, for good.
A friend of mine appeared to drop the ball and left a team project without word or why, for such a sudden withdrawal and absence. I felt deeply hurt and bewildered by this action and I was put into a position of full responsibility that was intended to be divided between several players. Now, everything landed on my lap and I was made to look somewhat like a trouble maker. I felt angry, dejected, and deeply disappointed. Suddenly, I was alone and having that experience triggers a deep sense of abandonment for me. I needed some sense of connection and support by my friend who unexpectedly decided to leave the project.
And so the stage was set- The players took their places and the events replicated childhood issues of abandonment and rejection. I thought, here I am again--alone, disappointed and hurt. Well, the natural thing to do was to do what I always did. Put up my invisible steel wall of ice, stick my chin up, suck my gut in, stuff my pain down, and pretend my ex-friend, didn’t exist. My behavior would be such that I would isolate this person and myself and that would teach them! They would be taught a lesson, while I sat safe in my comfort zone.
But was I really comfortable...? Was I comfortable sitting in isolation...? Was I really comfortable cutting this person off as if they no longer existed? Was I comfortable swallowing my emotions and pretending I wasn’t hurt…? Was I comfortable feeling like the little girl who was left behind again… and now presently?
I really wasn’t comfortable at all…
That started me thinking. I began to think about different ways I could re-approach this circumstance. The different ways that would work toward a successful experience in my favor. I saw myself clearly falling into the same old, comfortable illusion that no longer worked for me. This time, I made a decision to make different choices in thought, circumstance and behavior.
I started right away! First thing I did was clarify the responsibility of all the players and my personal intention. That alleviated the feeling of taking on full responsibility as well as simplified my part in the whole. I thought about the other people I knew I could trust. Those people that consistently showed consideration of me and my feelings and I spent time with them. That eliminated self-isolation and was a great form of self-care and nurture. I took the steel wall of ice down and allowed myself to remain open and permeable to others, including my ex-friend, allowing acknowledgment without the people pleasing need to prove otherwise. This eliminated isolating other people, evaporated self-judgment as well as any judgments toward others. There was no, “That’ll teach them!” on the table because I accepted myself and the actions of others without taking it on personally. Rather than stuffing my feelings down, I chose to feel them and take care of my own needs, moment to moment… to moment. Now, that’s freedom! I no longer felt bewildered because I became clear about my choices in the present. I no longer felt alone. Instead, I made an effort to engage and connect with the people I trusted, reinforcing the sense of belonging. I wasn’t even disappointed because I satisfied my current self.
Now, don’t get me wrong, a change in perspective doesn’t wipe the default patterns clearly away. Remember, perspective only opens your mind and shows you new directions, gives you a glimpse of a greater path and potential. You still have to make the different choices and implement them over and over again. It is a diligent practice and enlightened discovery. Believe me, I was still uncomfortable but this time it was in a very different way. I had to continue to take care of myself and consistently reinforce each new choice and behavior to work for me to ensure the success of a different outcome. And I did it--each time, every time.
By the end of the day my feelings lightened and my mood lifted. I was no longer burdened by the past or events that took place. I was learning how to live in the truth of right now. Oh, and by the way, after a few weeks our friendship slowly came back on board. It’s viewed from a different perspective now but nonetheless no one was cast to the deserted island of shame. That at one time or another, everyone has either gone to or come from.
After some time, I thought about how different this whole situation turned out for me. It occurred to me coming from a situation like that I was actually happy. Then it hit me--I was struck! I realized, I walked away from that circumstance intact… I feel happy and resolved without bitterness, resentment, hurt or anger hanging on to me and I’m not alone. I thought to myself, could it be that easy to change a whole circumstance simply by making a different choice? Could it possibly be that simple…? Well, I’m here to tell you it is possible and it is that simple.
1- Are you willing to take an honest look at the comfort zones holding you back?
2- Where can a change in perspective be a source of enlightenment and rejuvenation for you?
3- How can you apply that information into your life now, today, and every day after?
Write it down. Have fun with it!