I noticed a wasp on the glass door right before I was about to go outside to sit on my deck. I stopped dead in my tracks in the middle of my path and as if the answer was about to be whispered into my ear, my head slowly and cautiously tilted to the right in deliberation. I thought, was this thing outside the glass door or was it inside with me…? A cold chill sped up my spine, my body straighten up stiff and my eyes widened bright. My second thought emerged and sort of shrieked in the front of my mind, I heard clear as ice, OH MY GOD!! But I never actually uttered a sound. I stood frozen solid, not even the slightest breath escaped from my lungs. My body was motionless, I was terrified. My mind went white, blank and yet again, a shrill voice inside my head shouted, “RUN! What is wrong with you, Jennifer!?! Open your mouth and SCREAM! High-tail it outta here! Blockade the pathway, slide under your bed and hide from this dangerous and ferocious winged creature!” Then in the split of a second, under the warmth of my breath I said, should I get the spray and kill it?
I paused for a moment...
My lungs fell awake and my breath dropped deep down into my bones. I began to walk gradually, step by step over to the glass door. I stood in front of my reflection, a voyeur to the wasp and peered into the glass. When I got close enough I saw that this dangerous and ferocious winged creature was trapped between the two panes of glass. It moved somewhat frantically, seemingly trying to figure out a way to escape. I witnessed it possibly groom itself…? Or maybe it was nervous. It was fidgeting about, swiping its antennas with its arms and darting its triangle shaped head in zig-zagging patterns perhaps, trying to decide what to do next? Who knows, but what it did remind me of was what we all do when panic strikes. When that sense of fear and anxiety rise up, bubbling over into our blood -- the skin gets flushed, we’re hot! The palms move swiftly together, an effort to burn off the fire burning from inside. Our hands move mindlessly, yet, strategically over the face to sweep the sweat away from the brow and regain some level of comfort again. It times like this, you just can’t be still in your own body. You have to move in desperate declaration for relief! It becomes a driving force -- you need to get out of the situation, address it and quickly decide what the next steps are!
Panic sets in-
I stood there in the center of my breath, completely grounded and said in a soft undertone, “Wow… This winged creature must feel or at least determine it’s in a situation it needs to get out of?” I remembered how I’ve been in situations like this before -- being stuck between two panes of glass, metaphorically of course, but non-the-less I’ve been there. I’ve felt that same sense of horrible anxiety and crippling fear and with that realization, I no longer felt afraid of this creature. Now, I was only interested in helping it find the way out…
The wasp and I got to work right away! The sun sparked in the air and reflected beams of light off the glass door, as if to offer some insight into this unfortunate situation. We began trying to figure out ways to help the escape. I got closer and the wasp continued its pace, scurrying back and forth, trapped inside the glass. My eyes squinted slightly from the light and then quickly began shifting from side-to-side. The scene was the wasp moving back and forth and my eyes shifting from side to side -- it was like both our brains were rapidly calculating perimeters and plotting escape routes. I was trying to figure out how the wasp got inside there and where was the way out?
I found some crevasses and saw some possibilities but escape was to no avail. I decided, maybe it got in there from the outside? I stepped outside and looked at the door from another angle. After some time and through my investigation, I saw the entrance! It was obvious but this little wasp was spending too much time in the wrong places to even sense it. I began to tap gently on the glass in hopes the wasp might feel the vibration and follow the sound, maybe see the opening and set itself free.
I persisted with my task; I tapped, tapped, tapped, with the tip of my finger and with a little consistency, the wasp eventually began to follow the sound midway across the glass. However, every time it got halfway, it would turn around and go over the same places it had already gone over a million times before. This wasp was frustrating me! I kept tapping and tapping to show it the way and it kept repeating and repeating the same pattern -- that obviously didn’t serve any real purpose! Grrrrr… I growled, clinching the back of my throat and gritting through my teeth. The wasp and I played this tune for about 5 minutes straight! Me tapping on the glass and it dancing the cha-cha all the way to the halfway point, just to turn around and go over the same unfulfilled path again and again and again, escape was to no avail.
I never screamed, nor ran away, or killed it. I stopped tapping gently to get its attention and I never took apart the panes of glass to set it free. I realized, it was the path the wasp chose for itself and who was I to come along and show it the way or do the work for it?
This time, I stood in front of the glass door not frozen in fear and anxiety but suspended still in enlightenment. I stepped aside with resolve and watched the wasp eventually find the escape route and fly off to live out the rest of its life. I walked away with peace in my heart because I finally understood that all creatures deserve to be left alone to find their own way. To walk their own path and live their own lives -- even the ones that may hurt us or that we perceive as dangerous and ferocious.
Jennifer
I paused for a moment...
My lungs fell awake and my breath dropped deep down into my bones. I began to walk gradually, step by step over to the glass door. I stood in front of my reflection, a voyeur to the wasp and peered into the glass. When I got close enough I saw that this dangerous and ferocious winged creature was trapped between the two panes of glass. It moved somewhat frantically, seemingly trying to figure out a way to escape. I witnessed it possibly groom itself…? Or maybe it was nervous. It was fidgeting about, swiping its antennas with its arms and darting its triangle shaped head in zig-zagging patterns perhaps, trying to decide what to do next? Who knows, but what it did remind me of was what we all do when panic strikes. When that sense of fear and anxiety rise up, bubbling over into our blood -- the skin gets flushed, we’re hot! The palms move swiftly together, an effort to burn off the fire burning from inside. Our hands move mindlessly, yet, strategically over the face to sweep the sweat away from the brow and regain some level of comfort again. It times like this, you just can’t be still in your own body. You have to move in desperate declaration for relief! It becomes a driving force -- you need to get out of the situation, address it and quickly decide what the next steps are!
Panic sets in-
I stood there in the center of my breath, completely grounded and said in a soft undertone, “Wow… This winged creature must feel or at least determine it’s in a situation it needs to get out of?” I remembered how I’ve been in situations like this before -- being stuck between two panes of glass, metaphorically of course, but non-the-less I’ve been there. I’ve felt that same sense of horrible anxiety and crippling fear and with that realization, I no longer felt afraid of this creature. Now, I was only interested in helping it find the way out…
The wasp and I got to work right away! The sun sparked in the air and reflected beams of light off the glass door, as if to offer some insight into this unfortunate situation. We began trying to figure out ways to help the escape. I got closer and the wasp continued its pace, scurrying back and forth, trapped inside the glass. My eyes squinted slightly from the light and then quickly began shifting from side-to-side. The scene was the wasp moving back and forth and my eyes shifting from side to side -- it was like both our brains were rapidly calculating perimeters and plotting escape routes. I was trying to figure out how the wasp got inside there and where was the way out?
I found some crevasses and saw some possibilities but escape was to no avail. I decided, maybe it got in there from the outside? I stepped outside and looked at the door from another angle. After some time and through my investigation, I saw the entrance! It was obvious but this little wasp was spending too much time in the wrong places to even sense it. I began to tap gently on the glass in hopes the wasp might feel the vibration and follow the sound, maybe see the opening and set itself free.
I persisted with my task; I tapped, tapped, tapped, with the tip of my finger and with a little consistency, the wasp eventually began to follow the sound midway across the glass. However, every time it got halfway, it would turn around and go over the same places it had already gone over a million times before. This wasp was frustrating me! I kept tapping and tapping to show it the way and it kept repeating and repeating the same pattern -- that obviously didn’t serve any real purpose! Grrrrr… I growled, clinching the back of my throat and gritting through my teeth. The wasp and I played this tune for about 5 minutes straight! Me tapping on the glass and it dancing the cha-cha all the way to the halfway point, just to turn around and go over the same unfulfilled path again and again and again, escape was to no avail.
I never screamed, nor ran away, or killed it. I stopped tapping gently to get its attention and I never took apart the panes of glass to set it free. I realized, it was the path the wasp chose for itself and who was I to come along and show it the way or do the work for it?
This time, I stood in front of the glass door not frozen in fear and anxiety but suspended still in enlightenment. I stepped aside with resolve and watched the wasp eventually find the escape route and fly off to live out the rest of its life. I walked away with peace in my heart because I finally understood that all creatures deserve to be left alone to find their own way. To walk their own path and live their own lives -- even the ones that may hurt us or that we perceive as dangerous and ferocious.
Jennifer
RSS Feed
