Today is Valentine's Day... At first, I thought I should write about the fantasy of love or romantic type relationships and then I thought, why should I do that? That's not very original, now is it?!
I do want to talk about love and romantic type relationships but not in the conventional sense. No, I want to talk about something much deeper, something much greater... I want to talk about that little person that lives inside you--your inner child. Some might scoff at even the thought of that or throw their head back, rolling their eyes uttering, "Oh my God.." under their breath, discounting that quite little presence that resides in us all. Don't we all kind of do that though. Discount little parts of ourselves that come up? Maybe sweep them neatly under some imaginary rug or simply stuff it down, burying our feelings somewhere deep inside. We shift our focus on something else, someone else... Heck! Anything else, right...?! Another Else--to numb the pain of how we feel. We'll even slap labels on ourselves like, depression, anxiety, moody, or hormonal anything else but what we may actually be feeling. Could our feelings be the presence, the essence of some neat little package of something much deeper residing inside us? Something... a feeling, an energy, an emotion--a little voice struggling to come up for air. A voice inside that wants to speak. To say NO! To be, protected, acknowledged, appreciated, cared for, validated, guided, loved... Could it be Your Voice that wants to be heard--YOU - The Little You?
That voice- You- the little you, whose needs were never met.
That voice- You- the little you, whose feelings were shut down.
That voice- You- the little you, whose creativity and expression was oppressed and dismissed.
That voice- You, the little you.
When we acknowledge the child within us, we get to examine the broken pieces of our puzzle. We get to slowly begin to make those connections necessary to complete the very essence of who we really are. We tap into transformative powers that change our decisions, our reactions, our old patterns, and the course of our lives.
Today is Valentine's Day...
I sat in the car and I felt something... I felt something burning inside me, something welling up-- it was hot, burning my face and moving from the inside-out. My instinct, what I've learned, what I was taught--Dismiss it! It doesn't exist--PUSH IT DOWN and it will go away... Stand tall, eyes straight, and keep moving forward!
I stopped for a moment and tried something different. I tried what I now teach others. I tried to be present with myself and sit inside what I was feeling so I can label it, so I can put a name to it, so I can sit face to face with this monster inside me, with this energetic knot that was choking me. I felt angry, I felt frustrated. I said to myself- I feel, not necessarily dismissed... But- Ugh! I was stuck.
Then all of a sudden, I didn't know what I felt... I wasn't angry or frustrated anymore. That was just the surface--There was something rising inside, something deeper... Much Deeper. I thought, this feeling is so familiar to me... It was so ripe, so potent.
This feeling, this energy, this emotion, I carried inside me since forever, since I could remember...
Disappointment- finally had a face. Disappointment- finally had an understanding. Disappointment- finally had a voice... And I cried.
I cried through the feeling, I cried through the energy, I cried through the emotion and I found myself. I found myself vulnerable, settled inside my own heart. I realized then, I had been pushing the feeling of disappointment down for many, many years and I used anger as a way to keep me up--literally keep me upright, and moving forward and in that moment, I realized anger has no foundation, it's not strength and it's not strong, it crumbles easily, over and over again.
My mind sunk, like a stone in water and I understood there is a little voice inside, YOU - The Little You that is constantly trying to connect for integration, for healing, for wholeness. I realized that for most of my life, every time I shoved down that unknown feeling, dismissed and disregarded it, I made anger my anchor and shield to guard my vulnerability--the child within me, my precious little heart. Now, I finally understand that there is a path to the heart- I just need to follow that little voice inside. That Voice - YOU - The Little You.
The Year 2015 has Arrived!
Today, I made a vow to allow self judgments to evaporate inside the gentle vibrations of Grace.
Today, I wondered about vulnerability- - I thought about what would I need to let go of- in order to just purely be, who I am?
I wondered if I could share myself with others, with another- - and not budge?
I asked myself, could I be completely honest inside, therefore, completely authentic and raw with another?
I thought about the profundity, the solidity, the exclamation of being, of that person who doesn't hold back what is real inside, what beckons to be named, what is fueled with fire to be spoken, heard and released!
What would that internal freedom and expansion be like? What would that be like for one, and possibly, (in the spaces between) you and another- willing to do the same?
Oh my God... I thought, could I soften and let go of that which holds me captive inside? Furthermore, would just that simple action- the exhale, actually open a greater space within, for others- for another, to enter and share in the same way?
Perhaps, the answers are simply in letting it all go...
Maybe, everyday, we purposefully cause the shifts in our consciousness- - in every moment, in everyday. Today, the first day of this New Year-
For me, begins a shedding process, a letting go and a rising strong, inside my authentic, raw self.
TIS` THE SEASON OF HEART
December can be quite a magical month and fulfilling time of year. We get a chance to embrace the spirit of holidays and witness the wonder through the eyes of children and adults alike. Tis` the season of heart, when the world steps into a place of family, togetherness, and hope. It’s an end of a year that begins an active path into giving and receiving, rooted in a coming together of values and the essence of home. The season fills the atmosphere with magic; crisp air and snow falling from sky, lights aglow on streets and in homes, long gazes into loved one’s eyes by the crackles of fire and sparks of sweet-hearts. We take care, nestling into hearty foods like soups, stews, and hot chocolate. We bundle up with sweaters, scarves, blankets and loved ones and we find ourselves surround by light, the illumination of our hopes and dreams in the stillness of love within our hearts.
The heart symbolizes life, love and the engagement in partnership. The heart never leads alone... It never beats alone... One pulse follows the other in the direction of union. A sense of union requires partnership. We learn to connect and re-connect through the heart-experience, magnified between a pair of arms that allow us to reach out and touch what we love, while, cradled and comforted between two breasts that safely hold what we feel. We are given an opportunity to feel the magic of life, connection and harmony both, individually and collectively. The season of heart reminds us in order to create a spark of life, we cannot go at it alone. We simply relate and create in a blended continuum of wholeness. The heart does not beat alone... It does not lead alone... One pulse follows the other in complete unification.
This is a time of un-veiling, re-vealing, and an un-folding of self to the inner sweetness of comfort and warmth. It’s a reminder of the mother-child experience, the inner connection and bond of unconditional love. Our very own place to rest soulfully in the wonder and awe, completely disarmed and embraced in the natural state of being. The heart leads us to a clear passage and cleansing, a shedding of old, a point to nurture life and all that we live for. It is a space given in which to surrender, to lay down a clean slate, to be re-born in concept as we celebrate into the new, calm and cradled in the mother energy, inside the season of heart.
#HeartSeason #SpiritofCalm&Comfort #MotherEnergy #CradledInHeartEnergy #TistheSeasonforMagic #HeldinLight
It’s time to get out of the “cookie cutter” version of what healing should look like and shift back into our own personal guidance and experience. Sometimes, the path to healing has us feeling off center and it’s cause for questioning but we forget, feeling off center is also for good purpose. The center balances opposing sides and reveals a place of wholeness. When the scale tips toward into the wound, the other side of balance is overlooked. The gift of wholeness is to be open and available to both sides and to integrate them into conscious balance. Your personal path to healing begins inside wholeness not in one side of experience. Let’s look at pain for example. I’ve thought about pain. Pain is real. Pain is relentless. It reveals itself through the body, not just inside it. It wants to be seen. It beckons to be heard. It tugs at you every minute of every day. Pain is restrictive, trapped in the body with no space for joy and we suffer. Pain is suffering, the physical manifestation of held in, held back, shut down and buried emotion. Your physical body can become the storehouse for ignored, unacknowledged and suppressed emotional energy. Pain is an internal broadcast system for the feelings buried inside, screaming to be heard. To be acknowledged. To be cleared. To be loved.
Every healing journey will not look the same. It’s a personal pursuit-
Have you ever sat with the inner voice of your own pain?
I have. Pain is a lot more than just what we name it. It’s a culmination of stuck emotions, blocked feelings, experiences, memories, unconscious belief systems and unhealthy patterns. Because of this, healing can be an evolution of all experience and acknowledging what exists inside you, begins the path that serves as a direction. All of it is important information to construct a very intimate healing experience. Sometimes the tendency is to give up because you don’t like what you see and it can be hard to move through. This is when healing becomes dedication and time becomes discovery. I thought about pain. I’ve had pain. I’ve worked with pain and then it occurred to me. It came into me like a whole being awareness. The other side of pain, is pleasure. Pleasure. What a revelation! In all these years, it never occurred to me that pleasure was a root deficiency to my experience of pain. I was totally invested inside the pain that I missed out on any form of pleasure. I never embraced the joy of life and in being because I never thought to look at the other side of what the experience of pain had to offer.
I thank God for that moment in wholeness. It moved me. Pleasure was now in the game and enjoying my life became priority. When you embrace the other side, you stop brow beating the wound. You cease falling back into rigid, perfectionism disguised as discipline and the “trigger” has a place to go, a space to flourish. My personal healing did not look like the ideal or what I had anticipated. I found rest. I witnessed no more pushing into life or wanting to force forward. I could feel the grip loosen, I allowed some fun and sweeter foods, exercise was no longer a bloodbath but now conscious movement based on my needs for that day. Yes, I gained some weight but I also embraced that weight and loved myself anyway. My healing journey through pain helped me find a better balance within myself, a conscious balance. It helped me find the opening to the possibility of having pleasure move through me and integrate it into my experience. When you make your healing journey personal; it moves you, it changes you, it transforms you into a state of inner-conscious being. Shift away from the “call to action” approach to healing and move deeper into intimate understanding. Let that be the life-giving medicine you take in.
-Releasing Emotional Patterns
#BecomeYourInnerMostBeing #ConsciousBalance #WoundsAreOurGreatestTeachers
#SeektheOtherSide #BecomeWhole #WholnessMatters
AUTHOR OF INNER BEAUTY BLOGS
Jennifer is a truth seeker and artistic expressionist. She is certified energy therapist, emotional wellness coach, yoga/meditation instructor and intuitive. She is known her poetry and the deep care she feels for others.