To me, being vulnerable is always scary because you’re exposed in truth- You’re required to be completely honest. It becomes a tender place in time where you let go of defenses, drop masks, abandon agendas and sink into truth that is pure and simple. It's an experience of self that is stripped down to its essence in a complete, all-encompassing magnificent moment, that is you.
It takes courage to stand completely as you are in the present that you are. It means you must be willing to disarm the self and perhaps even another in an intimate moment of connection. It is the complete feeling of your inner strength in total and it offer's strength to the one you share it with, whether it’s fully accepted and integrated or not.
To be vulnerable is to be real, to exist in this world and to reverberate within the cells, even after you're gone. You can taste truth in your mouth, it's powerful and when vulnerability penetrates your being, it releases the energetic blocks that hold you back. That's why it makes you shake or feel scared or even cry... It’s a process that reveals who you are at the essence of creation. So, being vulnerable is actually the energy of your full, complete authentic self. That is your power and your power is immense, it's humbling and it deserves great honor.
- Meditation Musing, 2017
There’s no escaping it… We all get sick from time to time, some flu, cold or virus invades our privacy and takes us down. A natural born cycle that makes us count our blessings, peak our prayers and somehow, find ourselves getting a little closer to God.
Sometime last month, it hit me. I was tired, resting in bed feeling my glands swollen and sort of that itchy inflamed feeling in my ears and in the back of my throat. Yuck! (I hate those itchies!) Yet, although I was super tired and needed to rest, I felt really guilty that I was about to fall asleep. While this battle was going on in my mind, there was a quiet moment of pause when I saw a vision. This image appeared to me of a fish jumping upstream, like how salmon migrate from the ocean and swim upriver to spawn. Then I thought about what happens when a fish gets caught moving upstream and I remembered, some get stuck in the bear’s claws -- a price to pay when going against the grain. So, I decided to rest the feeling of guilt in my mind and let my body drift off to sleep.
The body and mind can intertwine in intimate relationship easily when we allow the ocean of our minds and the river of our bodies to meet and merge in its natural state of being -- an elegant, internal estuary that fuels the ecosystem of our being. My body was tired. It was under attack, invaded by foreign material and it was fighting for its life. I was exhausted and rightfully so but I also felt guilty, my mind was tortured and fighting against the grain. There was no elegant, internal estuary meeting and mingling in that moment, it was chaos!
All this until I stopped struggling upward and slipped into the basic current, the connecting concept that relates to the communication of the body and conscious awareness. Your body knows you best -- There are repercussions in going against the grain, against the wisdom and teaching of your own body. So, rest and drift off into a state where your mind can mend and your body can be heard.
When I woke up from my rest, I had more energy. The sun was shining outside and I felt to go out for a walk. Again, somewhere in the back of my mind I heard words that seemed to beat me up, “How dare you sleep?! Get up. get out and get some exercise!” (Man, those voices can be so persistent and ever demanding!). So, I put my sneakers on, jumped into my favorite purple sweater with the fuzzy white fur inside and prepared myself to walk.
Until… I felt those glands in the back of my neck swell and the glands under my chin thump with discontent. Then came that itchy, inflamed feeling in my ears and in the back of my throat again. I thought… “Ok, I hear you… You need more time.” So, I made a healthy shake to drink and instead of walking for exercise, I sat outside in the sun and allowed the sun do its wondrous magic.
Rather than moving upstream against the grain, I listened to the natural flow of the currents and allowed them to mingle, merge, and move me. Therefore, I bypassed the bears claw’s and simply headed for the sun where an elegant, internal estuary fueling the ecosystem of my being was moving and well balanced.
Most times, we’re not aware of the body/soul communications in the moments that they’re happening. We just move about, getting caught and stuck and sometimes, later on that day we wish we just would’ve just listened. You see, we have to catch those moments as they rise up in awareness and be able to let them go as they pass by, but take with us the insights they impart and then use them wisely.
There is a great distinction in going against the grain and going with the flow. Going against the grain teaches about holding on and brings up emotional patterns of denial and/or disapproval. Whereas, going with the flow teaches about letting go. It mirror’s the potential opportunities of acknowledgment and the ease of acceptance.
However, the choice is always yours-
- I invite you to find those moments of awareness that mingle and merge. That point where body and soul communication becomes your very own elegant internal estuary in which, your choices fuel your ecosystem of being in healthy more balanced ways.
- Beauty Notes, ©2017
Jennifer is a truth seeker and artistic expressionist. She is a published author/poet. She is a certified emotional wellness coach, certified energy therapist, yoga/meditation instructor and intuitive.