When someone hurts you, the natural response is to fight back, lash out and hurt them like they hurt you. Some choose to retreat inward, holding onto pain and secretly self-shame behind a closed mouth. Then there’s also the personal punishment, in effort to somehow redeem yourself through some form of blame or sadly, humiliation and self-harm. From any other onlooker, these are relentless actions taken to shield ourselves from pain, rejections, disappointments and, so on. Maybe, even reading this now might make you feel repulsed at such drastic measures to safeguard some semblance of sanity but in one way or another, we all do it.
When you experience some level of hurt, intentionally or otherwise, it hits you at the core. Even the slightest thought of facing it head on can be so daunting, that numbing yourself seems more likely the better option. Pain can be so disruptive that we often forget the possible growth potentials and deeper healing opportunities holding at the ready. Other avenues like; letting go, acceptance, understanding, commitment, and most of all, love. Forgiveness is a fickle and multi-layered spiritual concept, it can easily be tossed around like a hot potato, “You have to forgive. "Forgiveness is key." "Forgive not for others sake but for your own.” The idea gets tossed around like it’s a simple thing to do and it’s not. It takes guts and drive to forgive and when you’re on track, it becomes a vehicle to view beyond what occurred and observe your potential for greatness.
“Forgiveness is admitting we are like other people.” That is to say, that in order to understand another’s ill behavior or actions, you’ll need to take a good honest look at yourself under the same lens. When you can do that, it becomes the first step in allowing the experience of forgiveness to penetrate you. It is acknowledging that all wrongs, have rights and that correction, can start with you. It’s not an easy task and you may fall down many times but you’ll get back up just as much, in pain, through pain and beyond pain because the pain you feel, is your path to healing. Your fight will no longer be against yourself or what happened to you because it will become a standard of commitment to your growth. The beauty of forgiveness is it’s a spiritual quality that has to be discovered from within, as a full embrace and it will prove to be your greatest potential for growth, transformation, and true healing. Let forgiveness become an Evolution of Experience, your symbol of a soulful journey with a special gift and promise of a greater, whole self.
The Gifts of Forgiveness
* The Gifts of Forgiveness are many and here are just a few.
- Discovering an inner readiness and greater accessibility to the experience of open honesty.
- A sense of absorption in receiving the big picture and permeability, taking in what works and letting go or eliminating what does not.
- Gaining insight into the power and potency of surrender: starting fresh, cleaning and clearing the slate.
- Greater strength and determination in ceasing dysfunctional and ill-patterned thoughts, emotions and behaviors.
- Creating opportunities to craft inner spaces of radical acceptance and feeling a sense of freedom in that.
- Clarity around where you are now, what you want ahead, and who you want to be moving forward.
- Personal reward in time used wisely, in practicing new skills and behaviors to match.
- Please feel free to add to your own list and share!
It’s important to keep seeking the gifts of forgiveness because when you experience some form of rejection, it may take some time to find understanding and the growth potentials. It may take years and even when you think you have it all together, there seems to be more. However, there is (1) beautiful thing you can do toward forgiveness and that is to be kind to yourself. Every day, every moment, take the opportunity to be conscious when your pain rises and soothe it. You may not understand what happened and why, the intentions and behaviors behind it but you can validate what you feel in the moment you feel it. Be kind with your pain because it just wants to be heard. Be kind with yourself for having endured through it. Just simple be kind because this moment, right now, is all yours to create exactly what you want in kindness and in great love.
- J. Circosta, 2/5/20
Inner Beauty Blog
Emotional Wellness Coaching
Private and phone sessions available
Jennifer is a truth seeker and artistic expressionist. She is a published author/poet. She is a certified emotional wellness coach, certified energy therapist, yoga/meditation instructor and intuitive.