THE LADY AND THE SEA
The day was moody, overcast, and grey like the moon sought after its own demise the night before, crying through darkness as day summoned forth the light. The struggle began as the sun blistered its way through tiny cracks in clouds, piercing the backdrop of a lowly sad sky. Jane's eyes squinted tight and her face grimaced as light moved across her hairline. Her face fell soft. Her eyes closed and with a deep breath she went back in time to those memories of feeling safe and sound, held by God's grace and fully sustained within the body of creation.
She found herself standing in the place she had been before, watching the wind wander through her blueberry dress, the one with tiny pink flowers painted on it. She could feel the hemline ruffle in waves, gently lapping up against and in between her legs. She carefully studied how the berry-blue cloth clung to her curves, exposing the outline of her belly as the soft white lace tapped atop her chest ever so gently. A wandering breeze having its way with her, playfully rippling through loose curls and moving her body, silently pushing her forward, inch by inch toward the bewitching guiles of the sea. It was such that even her ocean garment seemed to reach out beyond its limits toward the depths and solace of the sea. Yet the wiles of the wind persisted on wistfully nudging her, perhaps, even pointing her toward her destiny but Jane stood still, motionless against such activity where time and space kept on moving... living... breathing... beneath the undertow of her feet.
Her sight was fixed outward and outside her reach yet, time caught her hand clutching her garment slightly in tune with the gale. Her feet planted in mustard sand looking over splashes in motion and with each passing moment, the sea took in more air, breathing in water crashed against rocks, breathing out, waves fell over the other mixing and mingling, swallowing the next and so on and so on. She felt taken, captured by this symphonic overture written from inside natures' seasoned chamber. A gentle tug and pull, a magnetic draw of blue-green reflection charmed her, sparked her and took her wild into its cavern of silence. Inhaling her in and exhaling her out. This modern dance of sea and body, body and breath was only for her. A conjuring ritual seeping in sweet and salted tongues. The sea spoke in a sensual, constant motion that held the secrets to honey dipped lullabies, she yearned...
Jane yearned for the sea, desperate for the taste that stung her words and struck her saucy speech into those tethered thoughts that broke her mind. She was lonely, isolated among the gulls screeching against her grey and muted world. Yet, she made a promise. She stood solid above the sand slipping under her toes and among the torrent of winds, pooling like sudden rainfall in her eyes. She cried. Jane felt broken, separate from herself with nowhere to turn. She peered inside but she was often afraid of what she might find and, therefore, closed the portal to any notion of release and sovereignty. She gazed far out and wide, a panoramic view of whispering waves collapsing and folding into the other's strength and spirit. A beautiful exchange of kinetic energy that only the sun and moon could render such dynamic action speechless. Jane lowered her head to receive her palms wrapping around the form of her belly, "She's somewhere inside me," she said aloud but no one heard. No one could hear her pain. No one searched for her cause. No one was there. It was just her and this body of water that knew her secrets, her deepest, darkest self.
Jane stayed near the edge of the shoreline, intently leaning into the churning folds and white whispers of the sea. She thought, "If I could just tune into the presence and power of the sea, surely I could carve a path toward some form of purgative resolve" but she only felt her frame fill with silken grey sorrow. An overwhelming frustration, a battle within herself and for her circumstance. She felt trapped yet known but not fully realized.
Just then, a surge of great force came. It was a stabbing pain in her stomach making known its distaste. Jane hunched over gripping onto her dress. Her finger nails digging into her palms, her knuckles white. She wanted to scream but no sound left her body, only pure energy vibrating outward like an inner sonar cry for help against the blank skyline. She stayed bent over belly, gritting her teeth and baring down until the great force passed. It was only when the clouds parted that relief found rest inside the pulse of Jane. She came back to her feet and released her hands from her blue dress, watching the hemline plummet toward the ground. A sinking feeling drew breath from her core. Her belly came into the calm of her hands, she said, "She's inside me." Jane knew something special was inside her forming, cultivating and renewing her spirit.
She only sought after some form of connection, something or someone she could relate to. Someone or something she could take in fully and nurture as her own, like how the sea rolls in smooth intervals courting skin in sun, racing against the tides to take hold of floating flesh while pulling you into its nurturing center, the womb of the sea. Jane said out loud, "nurturing center" and as she repeated the phrase on the tips of her lips a deep peace came over her. She lifted her head toward the skyline with rising hope gleaming atop her cheeks. She sipped in the ionic air and exhaled slowly, smooth and fluid, breathing in and breathing out, she played the very same instrument in which the sea had performed for her when she first arrived.
The sea had spoken its secrets and suddenly, Jane knew her journey ahead. She saw her path marked deep in the sand. She walked with kind purpose toward the mouth of the sea, one foot in front of the other breathing in and breathing out. Each step closer, she felt cool sand sifting through slits between her toes as the undercurrent urged her closer and closer. The sea wanted her, it was time. As her feet tasted the first splash of salt, the great force inside her settled into the bed of the sea. She continued moving deeper and deeper into the spirit of the sea, feeling rolling waves greeting each step she took into the folds of blooming surf and claps into the shoreline.
Jane felt as though she had arrived as she watched the sea encircle her shape, wrapping around her being and moving in snug. She felt safe and secure. It was the first moment Jane realized she was going to be okay and that great force inside her would settle into the palms of her hands like prayer.
The sea continued to fill in the lines of her body all the way up to and passed her chest. She felt delicate and somehow brand new. Jane felt her lower belly and said, "I know you're in there, little girl. I feel you inside me." Then with raw abandon, she put down all that held her up. She closed her eyes and fell backward into the water and allowed the warmth of the sea to take her in. She let go of her body. She let go of her mind, her muscles and bones softened downward toward the earth's bottom relinquishing all her frustrations and fears. She let go... Jane simply surrendered completely into something greater than herself, fully sustained in the body of creation. She succumbed to the rhythm and sway of the sea and the sea held her, rocked her body like mother's sing songs of sweetness to their newborn's.
The day drifted on, the sea drifted by, and Jane, drifted inside the womb of the sea. She drifted... drifted... way back, back in time when she, herself was in the gentle current of her mother's nourishment. In a flash of insight, she remembered what it was like to be held, suspended inside the womb of her own mother’s belly, to surrender yet allow, to be completely in tune and fluid, to uphold oneself, not by force but by ease of constant movement and to breathe softly in connection to all that is, to all that she is, to the little girl still inside her.
Jane released the great force, the energy of the past into the sea. The currents swept the pallet of her life clean and she found herself as a child, her innocence. She set herself free to drift in the sea, to be renewed and restored, unrestrained and known. She whispered softly into the beam of her belly, "I'm here, little girl…" Jane realized within each swoosh and sway, she never left nor needed to destroy the little girl inside her. She only needed to acknowledge her existence and set her free.
- J. Circosta, 2.2.18/ 8.8.18 updated
The Lady and the Sea
She found herself standing in the place she had been before, watching the wind wander through her blueberry dress, the one with tiny pink flowers painted on it. She could feel the hemline ruffle in waves, gently lapping up against and in between her legs. She carefully studied how the berry-blue cloth clung to her curves, exposing the outline of her belly as the soft white lace tapped atop her chest ever so gently. A wandering breeze having its way with her, playfully rippling through loose curls and moving her body, silently pushing her forward, inch by inch toward the bewitching guiles of the sea. It was such that even her ocean garment seemed to reach out beyond its limits toward the depths and solace of the sea. Yet the wiles of the wind persisted on wistfully nudging her, perhaps, even pointing her toward her destiny but Jane stood still, motionless against such activity where time and space kept on moving... living... breathing... beneath the undertow of her feet.
Her sight was fixed outward and outside her reach yet, time caught her hand clutching her garment slightly in tune with the gale. Her feet planted in mustard sand looking over splashes in motion and with each passing moment, the sea took in more air, breathing in water crashed against rocks, breathing out, waves fell over the other mixing and mingling, swallowing the next and so on and so on. She felt taken, captured by this symphonic overture written from inside natures' seasoned chamber. A gentle tug and pull, a magnetic draw of blue-green reflection charmed her, sparked her and took her wild into its cavern of silence. Inhaling her in and exhaling her out. This modern dance of sea and body, body and breath was only for her. A conjuring ritual seeping in sweet and salted tongues. The sea spoke in a sensual, constant motion that held the secrets to honey dipped lullabies, she yearned...
Jane yearned for the sea, desperate for the taste that stung her words and struck her saucy speech into those tethered thoughts that broke her mind. She was lonely, isolated among the gulls screeching against her grey and muted world. Yet, she made a promise. She stood solid above the sand slipping under her toes and among the torrent of winds, pooling like sudden rainfall in her eyes. She cried. Jane felt broken, separate from herself with nowhere to turn. She peered inside but she was often afraid of what she might find and, therefore, closed the portal to any notion of release and sovereignty. She gazed far out and wide, a panoramic view of whispering waves collapsing and folding into the other's strength and spirit. A beautiful exchange of kinetic energy that only the sun and moon could render such dynamic action speechless. Jane lowered her head to receive her palms wrapping around the form of her belly, "She's somewhere inside me," she said aloud but no one heard. No one could hear her pain. No one searched for her cause. No one was there. It was just her and this body of water that knew her secrets, her deepest, darkest self.
Jane stayed near the edge of the shoreline, intently leaning into the churning folds and white whispers of the sea. She thought, "If I could just tune into the presence and power of the sea, surely I could carve a path toward some form of purgative resolve" but she only felt her frame fill with silken grey sorrow. An overwhelming frustration, a battle within herself and for her circumstance. She felt trapped yet known but not fully realized.
Just then, a surge of great force came. It was a stabbing pain in her stomach making known its distaste. Jane hunched over gripping onto her dress. Her finger nails digging into her palms, her knuckles white. She wanted to scream but no sound left her body, only pure energy vibrating outward like an inner sonar cry for help against the blank skyline. She stayed bent over belly, gritting her teeth and baring down until the great force passed. It was only when the clouds parted that relief found rest inside the pulse of Jane. She came back to her feet and released her hands from her blue dress, watching the hemline plummet toward the ground. A sinking feeling drew breath from her core. Her belly came into the calm of her hands, she said, "She's inside me." Jane knew something special was inside her forming, cultivating and renewing her spirit.
She only sought after some form of connection, something or someone she could relate to. Someone or something she could take in fully and nurture as her own, like how the sea rolls in smooth intervals courting skin in sun, racing against the tides to take hold of floating flesh while pulling you into its nurturing center, the womb of the sea. Jane said out loud, "nurturing center" and as she repeated the phrase on the tips of her lips a deep peace came over her. She lifted her head toward the skyline with rising hope gleaming atop her cheeks. She sipped in the ionic air and exhaled slowly, smooth and fluid, breathing in and breathing out, she played the very same instrument in which the sea had performed for her when she first arrived.
The sea had spoken its secrets and suddenly, Jane knew her journey ahead. She saw her path marked deep in the sand. She walked with kind purpose toward the mouth of the sea, one foot in front of the other breathing in and breathing out. Each step closer, she felt cool sand sifting through slits between her toes as the undercurrent urged her closer and closer. The sea wanted her, it was time. As her feet tasted the first splash of salt, the great force inside her settled into the bed of the sea. She continued moving deeper and deeper into the spirit of the sea, feeling rolling waves greeting each step she took into the folds of blooming surf and claps into the shoreline.
Jane felt as though she had arrived as she watched the sea encircle her shape, wrapping around her being and moving in snug. She felt safe and secure. It was the first moment Jane realized she was going to be okay and that great force inside her would settle into the palms of her hands like prayer.
The sea continued to fill in the lines of her body all the way up to and passed her chest. She felt delicate and somehow brand new. Jane felt her lower belly and said, "I know you're in there, little girl. I feel you inside me." Then with raw abandon, she put down all that held her up. She closed her eyes and fell backward into the water and allowed the warmth of the sea to take her in. She let go of her body. She let go of her mind, her muscles and bones softened downward toward the earth's bottom relinquishing all her frustrations and fears. She let go... Jane simply surrendered completely into something greater than herself, fully sustained in the body of creation. She succumbed to the rhythm and sway of the sea and the sea held her, rocked her body like mother's sing songs of sweetness to their newborn's.
The day drifted on, the sea drifted by, and Jane, drifted inside the womb of the sea. She drifted... drifted... way back, back in time when she, herself was in the gentle current of her mother's nourishment. In a flash of insight, she remembered what it was like to be held, suspended inside the womb of her own mother’s belly, to surrender yet allow, to be completely in tune and fluid, to uphold oneself, not by force but by ease of constant movement and to breathe softly in connection to all that is, to all that she is, to the little girl still inside her.
Jane released the great force, the energy of the past into the sea. The currents swept the pallet of her life clean and she found herself as a child, her innocence. She set herself free to drift in the sea, to be renewed and restored, unrestrained and known. She whispered softly into the beam of her belly, "I'm here, little girl…" Jane realized within each swoosh and sway, she never left nor needed to destroy the little girl inside her. She only needed to acknowledge her existence and set her free.
- J. Circosta, 2.2.18/ 8.8.18 updated
The Lady and the Sea