April Shower's Bring May Flower's

April shower's bring May flower's... What's blooming inside your heart?
Beauty is everywhere, it’s found in the flowers and in the showers!
We just need to take a deeper look and not overlook that which cleanses us as well.

     Recently, within the last 2 months I’ve been experiencing complicated feelings of pain in the back portion of my heart. The pain settles deep into the layers of muscle between my shoulder blades. Then it travels up my back and along the left side of my neck with shooting pain that goes all the way up to my left ear. Sometimes the pain is so strong and debilitating it will zip down my arm into my wrist and fingertips, leaving me with a sharp and numbing sensation. The pain can be so intense at times that it can restrict my ability to move my head. In fact, one day I woke up in utter agony and as my eyes began to open I said out loud, “This is so painful, it feels like someone stabbed me in the back!” Then I realized, someone did…
     Actually, more than a lot of "someone’s" have stabbed me in the back during the course of my life and with that, I knew something inside me was trying to speak. Something deep inside was trying to communicate there were adjustments to be made. Somewhere, deep inside my spirit was crying, pleading and begging for my attention to listen. This pain was urging me to take care of myself in a healthier way. In a way that would shift me and cause significant change. Therefore, this month’s focus will be on the heart.

     When I focus on the qualities of energy I always begin at the most tangible position of understanding, the physical body. Pain speaks through the body, all feelings do and it gives you a location  attention. For me, the physical location of attention was the back of my heart and shoulder blades or my wings. The energy that resides here, at the center of the heart projects out and moves like a funnel toward the back body. This energy effects the front and back chest, shoulders, arms, wrists and fingers. This makes up the physical section and energy extension of the heart center or 4th Chakra. When you feel fulfilled or happy, energy projects outward and expands from all sides like a balloon and when you feel unfulfilled or hurt, energy will siphon inward toward the back body. Most times, the back body becomes the dumping ground for emotions that we choose not to deal with.
     The heart says, "Come and rest in the center of love for my energy is where emotions reside." The heart is the chamber of the body that generates, contains, and puts forth what you feel into the world and to those around you. The heart moves you. It teaches you about internal movement--that which motivates you from the inside. The heart doesn’t just see with certainty, the heart feels. It knows the truth and speaks through you within those silent sensations and gentle nuances that you can feel in your bones and deep inside your spirit.
     The heart center deals with relationships and as social beings, our focus tends to generally be on the happiness or sadness of the various relationships we have with other people in our lives. With that said, through my exploration of this complicated pain living in the back of my heart, it became clear to me that I had been carrying deep seeded disappointment and resentments for a very long time. I stored them there. I shoved them to the back of my heart and laid them dormant for a very long time. My heart was tired, bruised and in tremendous pain. And now, it was shaking things up--the BOOM before my BLOOM, so to speak. It was quite evident that my spirit no longer wanted to hold on to those things that kept me stuck. The pain was the signal that moved me to recognize its time to unglue that which binds me. It's time to allow this movement inside me to happen so I can get on board in new ways of thought, new ways of felt sense, and new ways of being present within myself and in my relationships.

     You may be able to begin to see how the threads of all the bodies; physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, energetic or ethereal connect together and begin to work here. How these bodies show up and function as a unit of information that starts to weave together the point of focus for healing. What does that mean? Well, first I felt pain (emotional body) in the back of my heart (physical body). I began to think about why it hurts so much (mental body). After thinking, feeling, and exploring the physical location I received an insight (spiritual body). Which, if I choose to make changes or not either way, my energy will be directly affected (ethereal body). In short, this is one unit or thread of communication working together to push forth a shift to cause significant change.
     Now, the heart doesn’t just focus on love type relationships or just specific people but it represents all types of relationships for example, the relationship you have with your job, your work, your health, food--what you eat or what you don’t eat, your overall well-being and of course, the relationship with yourself. The heart looks at the bigger picture of relationship and asks you to make choices based on how you truly feel. The heart is no wuss but sometimes we can be… Mainly, when we discount how we feel. We run, hide, change, deny or shove the energy of the heart to the back. When we are not honest about how we feel we soil our truth and that becomes a relationship in need of repair. The kind of relationship worth repairing, wouldn’t you say?

     When you place your focus on others, you lose sight of your own needs and desires of fulfillment. You neglect the relationship with your heart which by virtue of feeling, establishes the alignment of your truth. Your heart is the vehicle of motion that builds, creates and manifests the very nature of that which you truly desire to experience. The experience to live your truth. If you're unhappy in your relationships, any relationship, check your heart alignment and listen for your truth. There is clarity and gusto in your ability to thrive according to your will which in the gentle folds of the heart, simply rests the Will of God.
     The truth of your soul begins the relationship with your heart and the actions you take in accordance with your truth, is the experience that grooms you to bloom. April shower's indeed bring May flower's- Where does your focus need to be--on the shower or the flower? Remember, beauty is everywhere. It's found in the flowers and in the showers. We just need to take a deeper look and not overlook that which cleanses us as well.

Discovery Exercise: 
1- What is the truth of my heart?
2- What do the pains in my body represent?
3- In which areas of life can I add more movement?
4- What are my needs and desires in relationships?
5- Am I ready to put myself first and build relationship with the truth inside my heart?

Write it down. Have fun with it!

Love,
Jennifer