3/12/2024 0 Comments UNDERSTANDING ABANDONMENTWe all want to feel connected and embraced, taken in by people, places, things, and life in general. We want to feel seen and heard, safe, secure, cared for and loved. These are all basic human rights and essential foundational emotional needs. When these needs are not met, we feel alone, unwanted, unloved, disconnected and cast out as if we don't exist. There is a crucial inner longing to know that we are connected, not alone and that we in fact do exist. This is what makes the experience of abandonment so unbearable, and the imprint of it often carries into adulthood.
The abandonment wound is a complex trauma on many levels but, there is a distinction that's not often talked about. This may come as a shock, but the truth is only children are abandoned. Adults are not, they are left. Being left as an adult may feel like abandonment but it is something different all together. Abandonment is the experience of a child needing their parents or care giver to meet their needs, emotional or otherwise, because they rely on them for everything. So, when the essential foundational needs are not met, the child becomes overwhelmed with an overall sense of helplessness. Therefore, abandonment is an experience for a helpless child. This difference can help with understanding why one might revert to feeling like a child when the abandonment wound is triggered. It's like this because a child who is abandoned internalizes the experience as it could be the end of their existence and being alone is not safe. This fear factor is even more pervasive when abandonment happens in the early years of the child or even in utero, where there isn't even a language or ability to understand why a care giver isn't present or why they don't seem to love, care for, or want to be with them. As an adult the imprint of abandonment plays out by wanting love and connection but too much can be perceived as dangerous and not enough can also be perceived as dangerous. The element of danger kicks in inner chaos, contradictory thinking, trauma responses, emotional instability, shutting down, disconnecting, and even disassociating at times. These are all ways that one engages with the complex trauma of abandonment in the body. It affects our response system by engaging that primal fear that becomes the primary way to show up and interact in the relationship with ourselves, others, and the world. There's a constant hypervigilance to do anything, even if it's detrimental, just to ensure survival. This response can often perpetuate the tendency to abandon the self and sustain the reoccurring pattern and cycle of self-abandonment. The experience of abandonment can present in many ways; physically, psychologically, emotionally, even sudden loss but, the root belief is that no one really cares about who you are as a human being. Therefore, never allowing you to feel fully taken in and embraced. Abandonment at its core is central to healing from lack. Lack of safety, care, connections, importance, existence, etc., It sets up an inability to obtain an individual, inner space of calm and creating a co-regulated experience in getting into a calm, open space that is safe to feel and communicate in a fully connected way with others. It interferes with the healthy relational dynamics in general because if the primary caregiver was absent, the child was never able to connect in ways that felt secure and safe. It's this kind of complex trauma that prohibits safety and co-regulation because the belief is that everyone will leave and there are no safe and trustworthy relationships to have. Although there is a desperate need to connect, we wind up doing things, without realizing it, that sabotage it. Awareness is always the first step to healing. Click below to read more about ways to consider rewiring abandonment and slowly integrating then with kindness and great care. 9 Healthy Ways to Heal Abandonment Here>> Love, Jennifer Gentle Touch Healing www.jennifersmusing.com Healing through Compassion - Emotional Wellness Coaching
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She moves you, the moon like an inner ripple that awakens the surface and stirs the soul. Her vibration is so subtle and natural to being that for a moment, you can find yourself. You are here and now, reflecting upon Her reflection within a state of hypnotic solitude. She gazes upon you with full-bodied night vision and you feel safe in the sheer essence of Her light. It’s not too bright or harsh and you don’t feel exposed. You can stand before Her raw and naked, completely vulnerable to Her ways because you're sensitive to the subtleties. You are ready. There’s no need to run or hide because you're not caught in Her light, you are drawn to it.
She summons you by loving invocation and you submit. You connect with the deeper feelings that conjure the vortex of renewal. You are born again! Safe and sound in the womb of the Great Mother or Divine Feminine, a mysterious incantation of release and rest to realign. She holds your body, your gaze steady, and you can see light for the first time. You are awake, illuminated, and any shadows or darkness softly dissolve into the quiet whispers of nothingness. The Moon opens you, your heart, and you are available to Her Divinity which allows you to be receptive to your own. You can simply exhale, surrender to Her power, and trust the process because she is so, so, tender. She doesn’t lead by force or want anything from you. She is gentle, calm, and serene yet bold and present. She intrigues and fascinates the deeper desires, captures your heart, and you let Her because she disarms you. She grounds you deeper into yourself, rooted in ways that are more genuine to who you are and more authentic to your being. Let yourself connect with the power of the Moon, receive Her energies and let her move you. Love, Jennifer Healing through Compassion - Inner Beauty Blog, Connecting with the Energies of the Moon, Tiny Poet, 2024 Energy Healing Therapies, Emotional Wellness & Spiritual Readings- https://healing-through-compassion.square.site - The Moon energies are an experience meant to be felt. If you try to intellectualize it, you’ll only incur inner conflict and confusion. The mind doesn’t move with the phases of the Moon, the heart does. This makes it an intuitive venture not a logical one. The energies of the Moon don’t seek or search for answers because it illuminates the truth. It teaches how to receive information rather than figure it out. When you trust in that knowledge you stay on your own unique path, learn through states of enlightenment, and grow stronger with long-term sustainability. The Moon is steady in darkness, she does not waver. She will reflect to you what is necessary to witness with clear perception and reveal the truth of what is, what was, and will come. Moon energies are received, allow them to penetrate your being so you can be nurtured, nourished, and whole. 12/14/2023 0 Comments Hope, Faith & TrustWhen we find ourselves moving through a transition, life change, or some form of personal evolution it can be extremely difficult and even excruciating at times. Change can be sudden and bring with it an extreme sense of instability. It can even feel forced upon at times, with an innate sense that there's no going back to what was before. This kind of extreme can bring up feelings of confusion, hopelessness, and a sense of lack in purpose. It's in those moments of deep pain that it becomes imperative to dedicate ourselves to a state of hope and faith to help us make it through to the other side with a sense of calm and comfort. It's times like these when it becomes important to hold fast to the knowledge and remember that before any type of transformation there is always a beautiful breakthrough. Evolution means to roll out. Transformation means to change shape. Transition means to move across or over. It's inevitable to feel discomfort and complete overwhelm in the process of change. How could we not? Especially, when we're changing shape, rolled out, moved over, and all across ourselves. Although it's painful, the process of change helps us notice what isn't working, encourages a deeper place of honesty about what our priorities are and makes what we value crystal clear. It takes an enormous amount of strength and courage to move through what's breaking through. It requires faith and hope that there is something better and more aligned on the other side. It's about holding a space of confidence and positive expectation as a source of knowledge you can trust. And to remember that a state of tolerance holds purpose and is worthwhile for that which you divinely deserve. PRAYER FOR INNER PEACE - Affirmation of Faith - “Patience pays. Wait. Let the hand of God work for you. The One who has created you, let Him create all the environments, circumstances, facilities and faculties. Why are you in a very doubtful state? The One who has made you will take care of you. The One who has created this Universe, all the planets, planetary faculties and facilities on Earth, He is the One who has created you. Wait. Have patience. Lean on him. And all the best things will come to you.
Dwell in God. Dwell in God. Dwell in God. Befriend your soul. Dwell in God and befriend your soul. Dwell in God and befriend your soul. Dwell in God and befriend your soul. All the faculties and facilities of the Creation, which are in your best interest shall be at your feet. You need a million things. A million things will reach you if you are stable, established, firm, patient. Remember, the Creator watches over you and Creation is ready to serve you, if you just be you. So, please take away the ghost of your life and stop chasing around. Consolidate. Concentrate. Be you. And may all the peace and peaceful environments, prosperity approach you forever.” - Yogi Bhjan Love, Jennifer Gentle Touch Healing Healing through Compassion - Inner Beauty Blog, Faith, Trust & Hope, Tiny Poet, 12.13.2023 Energy Healing, Emotional Wellness Therapies & Spiritual Readings |
TIS` THE SEASON OF HEART
December can be quite a magical month and fulfilling time of year. We get a chance to embrace the spirit of holidays and witness the wonder through the eyes of children and adults alike. Tis` the season of heart, when the world steps into a place of family, togetherness, and hope. It’s an end of a year that begins an active path into giving and receiving, rooted in a coming together of values and the essence of home. The season fills the atmosphere with magic; crisp air and snow falling from sky, lights aglow on streets and in homes, long gazes into loved one’s eyes by the crackles of fire and sparks of sweet-hearts. We take care, nestling into hearty foods like soups, stews, and hot chocolate. We bundle up with sweaters, scarves, blankets and loved ones and we find ourselves surround by light, the illumination of our hopes and dreams in the stillness of love within our hearts.
The heart symbolizes life, love and the engagement in partnership. The heart never leads alone... It never beats alone... One pulse follows the other in the direction of union. A sense of union requires partnership. We learn to connect and re-connect through the heart-experience, magnified between a pair of arms that allow us to reach out and touch what we love, while, cradled and comforted between two breasts that safely hold what we feel. We are given an opportunity to feel the magic of life, connection and harmony both, individually and collectively. The season of heart reminds us in order to create a spark of life, we cannot go at it alone. We simply relate and create in a blended continuum of wholeness. The heart does not beat alone... It does not lead alone... One pulse follows the other in complete unification. This is a time of un-veiling, re-vealing, and an un-folding of self to the inner sweetness of comfort and warmth. It’s a reminder of the mother-child experience, the inner connection and bond of unconditional love. Our very own place to rest soulfully in the wonder and awe, completely disarmed and embraced in the natural state of being. The heart leads us to a clear passage and cleansing, a shedding of old, a point to nurture life and all that we live for. It is a space given in which to surrender, to lay down a clean slate, to be re-born in concept as we celebrate into the new, calm and cradled in the mother energy, inside the season of heart. Love, Jennifer #HeartSeason #SpiritofCalm&Comfort #MotherEnergy #CradledInHeartEnergy #TistheSeasonforMagic #HeldinLight CONSCIOUS BALANCE
It’s time to get out of the “cookie cutter” version of what healing should look like and shift back into our own personal guidance and experience. Sometimes, the path to healing has us feeling off center and it’s cause for questioning but we forget, feeling off center is also for good purpose. The center balances opposing sides and reveals a place of wholeness. When the scale tips toward into the wound, the other side of balance is overlooked. The gift of wholeness is to be open and available to both sides and to integrate them into conscious balance. Your personal path to healing begins inside wholeness not in one side of experience. Let’s look at pain for example. I’ve thought about pain. Pain is real. Pain is relentless. It reveals itself through the body, not just inside it. It wants to be seen. It beckons to be heard. It tugs at you every minute of every day. Pain is restrictive, trapped in the body with no space for joy and we suffer. Pain is suffering, the physical manifestation of held in, held back, shut down and buried emotion. Your physical body can become the storehouse for ignored, unacknowledged and suppressed emotional energy. Pain is an internal broadcast system for the feelings buried inside, screaming to be heard. To be acknowledged. To be cleared. To be loved.
Every healing journey will not look the same. It’s a personal pursuit-
Have you ever sat with the inner voice of your own pain? I have. Pain is a lot more than just what we name it. It’s a culmination of stuck emotions, blocked feelings, experiences, memories, unconscious belief systems and unhealthy patterns. Because of this, healing can be an evolution of all experience and acknowledging what exists inside you, begins the path that serves as a direction. All of it is important information to construct a very intimate healing experience. Sometimes the tendency is to give up because you don’t like what you see and it can be hard to move through. This is when healing becomes dedication and time becomes discovery. I thought about pain. I’ve had pain. I’ve worked with pain and then it occurred to me. It came into me like a whole being awareness. The other side of pain, is pleasure. Pleasure. What a revelation! In all these years, it never occurred to me that pleasure was a root deficiency to my experience of pain. I was totally invested inside the pain that I missed out on any form of pleasure. I never embraced the joy of life and in being because I never thought to look at the other side of what the experience of pain had to offer.
I thank God for that moment in wholeness. It moved me. Pleasure was now in the game and enjoying my life became priority. When you embrace the other side, you stop brow beating the wound. You cease falling back into rigid, perfectionism disguised as discipline and the “trigger” has a place to go, a space to flourish. My personal healing did not look like the ideal or what I had anticipated. I found rest. I witnessed no more pushing into life or wanting to force forward. I could feel the grip loosen, I allowed some fun and sweeter foods, exercise was no longer a bloodbath but now conscious movement based on my needs for that day. Yes, I gained some weight but I also embraced that weight and loved myself anyway. My healing journey through pain helped me find a better balance within myself, a conscious balance. It helped me find the opening to the possibility of having pleasure move through me and integrate it into my experience. When you make your healing journey personal; it moves you, it changes you, it transforms you into a state of inner-conscious being. Shift away from the “call to action” approach to healing and move deeper into intimate understanding. Let that be the life-giving medicine you take in. Love, Jennifer🌸 -Releasing Emotional Patterns #BecomeYourInnerMostBeing #ConsciousBalance #WoundsAreOurGreatestTeachers #SeektheOtherSide #BecomeWhole #WholnessMatters AUTHOR OF INNER BEAUTY BLOGSJennifer is a truth seeker and artistic expressionist. She is certified energy therapist, emotional wellness coach, yoga/meditation instructor and intuitive. She is known her poetry and the deep care she feels for others. Categories |
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