10/15/2023 2 Comments Boundaries Relieve Toxic EmpathyToxic empathy is when we take on another’s energy, mood, character, and/or behaviors as our own. What that means is, that we can temporarily lose sight of who we are and become a similar version of that “outside influence” which, at times, can also include surrounding environments and/or certain circumstances as well.
Boundaries help us preserve and maintain what is of value to and inside us. Healthy empathy is an awareness of another’s feeling system and attempting to understand how they might feel without taking it on or becoming it. Toxic Empathy on the other hand, goes that step further in that one changes in accordance with the influence. This can be conscious or unconscious. When taking on outside influences in this way, it can alter how we would naturally respond by distorting energy, mood, character, and/or behavior to match or suit the nature of the influence. Once that occurs, we have abandoned ourselves, and often, can feel confused about who we are, what we’re doing, and why. This illustrates how toxic empathy creates an unhealthy attachment, that sometimes, isn’t that easy to just shake off. So, we have to be mindful of outside influences but more importantly, we need to notice when we are reverting backwards or acting outside of our personal character. Once we notice the presence of influence we can stop, stand firm and return to our own personal way of being. This is the act of healthy separation which, establishes an alignment that is more self-governing while fostering a quality of inter-dependence in relational, environment and situational interactions. You are free to be who you are. Another’s behavior, mood, energy, character doesn’t have the power in and of itself to blot you out. You can set healthy boundaries to protect and maintain your own sense of value. Love, Jennifer Gentle Touch Healing www.jennifersmusing.com Healing through Compassion - Inner Beauty Blog, Healthy Boundaries Relieve Toxic Empathy, 10.2.2023, Tiny Poet Emotional Wellness Coaching: https://www.jennifersmusing.com/emotional-wellness-coaching.html
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10/16/2023 12:24:36 pm
Thank you for the good article on Boundaries.
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Hi Mera, so nice of you to comment. It’s lovely to hear from you and you’re very welcome. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts. I greatly appreciate both. My office is in Lebanon, TN now and has been before Covid struck. Please feel free to call or text me with any other questions. Hope to see you again soon.
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TIS` THE SEASON OF HEART
December can be quite a magical month and fulfilling time of year. We get a chance to embrace the spirit of holidays and witness the wonder through the eyes of children and adults alike. Tis` the season of heart, when the world steps into a place of family, togetherness, and hope. It’s an end of a year that begins an active path into giving and receiving, rooted in a coming together of values and the essence of home. The season fills the atmosphere with magic; crisp air and snow falling from sky, lights aglow on streets and in homes, long gazes into loved one’s eyes by the crackles of fire and sparks of sweet-hearts. We take care, nestling into hearty foods like soups, stews, and hot chocolate. We bundle up with sweaters, scarves, blankets and loved ones and we find ourselves surround by light, the illumination of our hopes and dreams in the stillness of love within our hearts.
The heart symbolizes life, love and the engagement in partnership. The heart never leads alone... It never beats alone... One pulse follows the other in the direction of union. A sense of union requires partnership. We learn to connect and re-connect through the heart-experience, magnified between a pair of arms that allow us to reach out and touch what we love, while, cradled and comforted between two breasts that safely hold what we feel. We are given an opportunity to feel the magic of life, connection and harmony both, individually and collectively. The season of heart reminds us in order to create a spark of life, we cannot go at it alone. We simply relate and create in a blended continuum of wholeness. The heart does not beat alone... It does not lead alone... One pulse follows the other in complete unification. This is a time of un-veiling, re-vealing, and an un-folding of self to the inner sweetness of comfort and warmth. It’s a reminder of the mother-child experience, the inner connection and bond of unconditional love. Our very own place to rest soulfully in the wonder and awe, completely disarmed and embraced in the natural state of being. The heart leads us to a clear passage and cleansing, a shedding of old, a point to nurture life and all that we live for. It is a space given in which to surrender, to lay down a clean slate, to be re-born in concept as we celebrate into the new, calm and cradled in the mother energy, inside the season of heart. Love, Jennifer #HeartSeason #SpiritofCalm&Comfort #MotherEnergy #CradledInHeartEnergy #TistheSeasonforMagic #HeldinLight CONSCIOUS BALANCE
It’s time to get out of the “cookie cutter” version of what healing should look like and shift back into our own personal experience and guidance. Sometimes, the path to healing can feel off balancing and can cause concern. We forget that being off balance is also for good purpose in defining it. The act of balance looks to the center of opposing forces to reveal a place of wholeness. This is the path to healing. The gift in that is in being open and available to both sides to integrate them as a point of conscious balance.
Let’s look at pain for example. Pain is real. It’s relentless. It reveals itself through the body. It wants to be seen. It beckons to be heard. It tugs at you every minute of every day. Pain is restrictive, trapped in the body with no space and we suffer. Pain is suffering, the physical manifestation of being held in, held back, shut down and buried within your own emotions. Your physical becomes the storehouse for emotional energy that has been ignored, unacknowledged and suppressed. Pain is a barometer, an internal broadcast system for the feelings buried inside, screaming to be heard. To be acknowledged. To be cleared. To be loved. Every healing journey will not look the same. It’s a personal pursuit- Have you ever sat with the inner voice of your own pain? I have and it had a lot to say. Pain is a lot more than just the name we gave. It’s the culmination of stuck emotions, blocked feelings, experiences, memories, unconscious belief systems and because of this, pain can be the source of evolution. Acknowledging what exists inside you, begins the path that serves as a healing direction. All of it is important information. Sometimes, the tendency is to give up because we don’t like what we see and it can be hard to move through. This is when healing becomes dedication and time invested becomes discovery. I’ve thought about pain. I’ve been in pain. I’ve worked through and with pain. It occurred to me, like a whole being awareness that the other side of pain, is pleasure. What a revelation! It never occurred to me that pleasure could be a root deficiency to the experience of pain. I was totally invested inside the pain that I missed out on any form of pleasure. I thank God for that moment in wholeness. Pleasure was now part of understanding personal balance and became a priority. When we embrace the other side, pain can rest. We cease falling back into rigid, perfectionism disguised as discipline and the “trigger” has a place to go, a space to flourish. My personal healing did not look ideal or what I had anticipated. I found rest. There was no more pushing or forcing life forward. The grip was loosening and I took in some fun, sweeter foods, conscious movement based on my needs rather than any “should’s.” My healing journey through pain helped me find a better balance within myself, a conscious balance. When you make your healing journey personal, it moves you, changes you, transforms you. Shift away from the “call to action” approach to healing and move deeper into intimate understanding. Let that be the life-giving medicine you need. Love, Jennifer🌸 Gentle Touch Healing Healing through Compassion - Inner Beauty Blog, Conscious Balance, Tiny Poet, 4.19.2024 AUTHOR OF INNER BEAUTY BLOGSJennifer is a truth seeker and artistic expressionist. She is certified energy therapist, emotional wellness coach, yoga/meditation instructor and intuitive. She is known her poetry and the deep care she feels for others. Categories |