As I faced my Maker at the last judgment, I knelt before the Lord in pieces like squares of a quilt torn and lain in many piles on the floor. An angel sat next to me as I weaved my squares together into a tapestry that reflected my life. Each square, labeled with stories that had been difficult, challenges, temptations, and hardships that left giant holes in the threads that held my life together. As I began to connect the pieces, I noticed how ragged and empty the squares were and as I gazed upon my own life, I felt disheartened and dismayed. "What would God think of me and what I made of my life?"
The time came for my life to be displayed, held up to the light of God and for the truth to be seen. My angel looked upon me and nodded for me to rise. My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I felt embarrassed to present my life to the Lord. "It was full of holes!" I had to start over many times and often struggled with giving up or losing sight with what God had placed in my heart. Somehow, I didn’t believe that I could do it, whatever it was. I spent many days and nights praying, asking for help, guidance, and direction. God would answer and show me his face in many ways and in that moment, I believed in something but somehow, I would get swallowed up again in that relentless doubt in myself, my gifts, of who God created me to be. I felt guilty that I didn’t believe in myself, in my path, or God in those moments when my life seemingly fell apart at the seams.
Now, I had to face the truth. The story of my life was what it was, and I had to accept it. I rose before the Lord and slowly lifted the quilt of my life with all the holes, up to the light. I was afraid to look into the eyes of God. I feared disapproval and disgust. God said, “Open your eyes.” I took a deep breath and slowly revealed myself. I gasped at the sight. I was struck with awe. What I saw was the most astonishing, most beautiful image before me. Light flooded into the many holes in the tapestry of my life. The Lord stood before me, with love in His eyes. He said, “I was always there even when you didn’t see Me.” “Each point of light is when you stepped aside and allowed Me to shine through, until there was more of Me than there was of you."
There is no doubt in Faith yet, life is so full of surprises and twists and turns that it can be hard to take hold of something. It's easier to doubt then to hold fast onto something greater than ourselves. Sometimes, I wonder if doubt is what we hold to because we don’t know what will happen from one moment to the next but Faith, is not about knowing the future. It’s a belief with strong conviction in something for which there may be no tangible proof. Faith is the opposite of doubt. It is a complete trust, a confidence, a reliance, or devotion in what we hope for with the assurance that God is working on it, even if we don’t see it with our own eyes. Faith is felt, our inner navigator and demonstrates an unwavering certainty in that knowing. Faith is strength when we feel we have none and it’s hope when all seems lost. Faith isn't just something to grip hold of when times are tough. It's a continuous devotion of Divine assurance. It's a stream of consciousness that moves through our minds seamlessly. It is the beacon of light that patches up all the dips, rips and holes we may face in life. Faith is the light shining through you until there is more of God than there is of you.
Author unknown, Story adapted by Jennifer Circosta
Faith Holds the Pieces Together, 11.22.2021
TIS` THE SEASON OF HEART
December can be quite a magical month and fulfilling time of year. We get a chance to embrace the spirit of holidays and witness the wonder through the eyes of children and adults alike. Tis` the season of heart, when the world steps into a place of family, togetherness, and hope. It’s an end of a year that begins an active path into giving and receiving, rooted in a coming together of values and the essence of home. The season fills the atmosphere with magic; crisp air and snow falling from sky, lights aglow on streets and in homes, long gazes into loved one’s eyes by the crackles of fire and sparks of sweet-hearts. We take care, nestling into hearty foods like soups, stews, and hot chocolate. We bundle up with sweaters, scarves, blankets and loved ones and we find ourselves surround by light, the illumination of our hopes and dreams in the stillness of love within our hearts.
The heart symbolizes life, love and the engagement in partnership. The heart never leads alone... It never beats alone... One pulse follows the other in the direction of union. A sense of union requires partnership. We learn to connect and re-connect through the heart-experience, magnified between a pair of arms that allow us to reach out and touch what we love, while, cradled and comforted between two breasts that safely hold what we feel. We are given an opportunity to feel the magic of life, connection and harmony both, individually and collectively. The season of heart reminds us in order to create a spark of life, we cannot go at it alone. We simply relate and create in a blended continuum of wholeness. The heart does not beat alone... It does not lead alone... One pulse follows the other in complete unification.
This is a time of un-veiling, re-vealing, and an un-folding of self to the inner sweetness of comfort and warmth. It’s a reminder of the mother-child experience, the inner connection and bond of unconditional love. Our very own place to rest soulfully in the wonder and awe, completely disarmed and embraced in the natural state of being. The heart leads us to a clear passage and cleansing, a shedding of old, a point to nurture life and all that we live for. It is a space given in which to surrender, to lay down a clean slate, to be re-born in concept as we celebrate into the new, calm and cradled in the mother energy, inside the season of heart.
#HeartSeason #SpiritofCalm&Comfort #MotherEnergy #CradledInHeartEnergy #TistheSeasonforMagic #HeldinLight
It’s time to get out of the “cookie cutter” version of what healing should look like and shift back into our own personal guidance and experience. Sometimes, the path to healing has us feeling off center and it’s cause for questioning but we forget, feeling off center is also for good purpose. The center balances opposing sides and reveals a place of wholeness. When the scale tips toward into the wound, the other side of balance is overlooked. The gift of wholeness is to be open and available to both sides and to integrate them into conscious balance. Your personal path to healing begins inside wholeness not in one side of experience. Let’s look at pain for example. I’ve thought about pain. Pain is real. Pain is relentless. It reveals itself through the body, not just inside it. It wants to be seen. It beckons to be heard. It tugs at you every minute of every day. Pain is restrictive, trapped in the body with no space for joy and we suffer. Pain is suffering, the physical manifestation of held in, held back, shut down and buried emotion. Your physical body can become the storehouse for ignored, unacknowledged and suppressed emotional energy. Pain is an internal broadcast system for the feelings buried inside, screaming to be heard. To be acknowledged. To be cleared. To be loved.
Every healing journey will not look the same. It’s a personal pursuit-
Have you ever sat with the inner voice of your own pain?
I have. Pain is a lot more than just what we name it. It’s a culmination of stuck emotions, blocked feelings, experiences, memories, unconscious belief systems and unhealthy patterns. Because of this, healing can be an evolution of all experience and acknowledging what exists inside you, begins the path that serves as a direction. All of it is important information to construct a very intimate healing experience. Sometimes the tendency is to give up because you don’t like what you see and it can be hard to move through. This is when healing becomes dedication and time becomes discovery. I thought about pain. I’ve had pain. I’ve worked with pain and then it occurred to me. It came into me like a whole being awareness. The other side of pain, is pleasure. Pleasure. What a revelation! In all these years, it never occurred to me that pleasure was a root deficiency to my experience of pain. I was totally invested inside the pain that I missed out on any form of pleasure. I never embraced the joy of life and in being because I never thought to look at the other side of what the experience of pain had to offer.
I thank God for that moment in wholeness. It moved me. Pleasure was now in the game and enjoying my life became priority. When you embrace the other side, you stop brow beating the wound. You cease falling back into rigid, perfectionism disguised as discipline and the “trigger” has a place to go, a space to flourish. My personal healing did not look like the ideal or what I had anticipated. I found rest. I witnessed no more pushing into life or wanting to force forward. I could feel the grip loosen, I allowed some fun and sweeter foods, exercise was no longer a bloodbath but now conscious movement based on my needs for that day. Yes, I gained some weight but I also embraced that weight and loved myself anyway. My healing journey through pain helped me find a better balance within myself, a conscious balance. It helped me find the opening to the possibility of having pleasure move through me and integrate it into my experience. When you make your healing journey personal; it moves you, it changes you, it transforms you into a state of inner-conscious being. Shift away from the “call to action” approach to healing and move deeper into intimate understanding. Let that be the life-giving medicine you take in.
-Releasing Emotional Patterns
#BecomeYourInnerMostBeing #ConsciousBalance #WoundsAreOurGreatestTeachers
#SeektheOtherSide #BecomeWhole #WholnessMatters
AUTHOR OF INNER BEAUTY BLOGS
Jennifer is a truth seeker and artistic expressionist. She is certified energy therapist, emotional wellness coach, yoga/meditation instructor and intuitive. She is known her poetry and the deep care she feels for others.