"I’m not heard. I feel ignored. I’m not important. My needs go unnoticed.
I feel alone. I feel empty. Nobody likes me…"
These statements are hard to swallow but they represent the voice of rejection, the wound that aches inside the body. It speaks loud and clear through the mind and can feel as though it’s behind the scene's taunting you. It shows up as blaming, shaming, critical, judgmental self-talk and is relentless to endure. As children, we had yet to develop a discerning ability to separate a sense of self-worth from the actions modeled by others. Therefore, inadvertently, converging the dysfunctional behavior of others with a sense of personal lack, severely distorting the view of the self at a fundamental level. The experience, fractures the connection to the foundation of self and uproots the possibilities of understanding who we are. It plants an unhealthy seed inside the psyche that says something’s intrinsically wrong with the self. We begin to believe, that love is not deserved but that also, there is no love to be given. Once that seed fully blooms, it obliterates the self and corrupts any experiences to follow. That severed connection or dis-connection makes it hard to believe that we are deserving of any goodness and makes it increasingly difficult to feel whole.
I was in the beginning stages of frozen shoulder when I went for a massage. The pain was so severe, it was hard to stay present. My mind kept falling into channels of stuck energy that felt impossible to move through but I was determined. I stayed focused. I took really deep breaths. The pain was so great, I could hear myself screaming in my head. Then for a moment, a voice rose into my consciousness and through the pain, it said, “I deserve love.” The statement didn’t faze me in that moment but I repeated it in my mind. It became a silent mantra, “I deserve love, I deserve love, I deserve love…” I didn’t stop. I wouldn't stop, even through the pain, I just kept going.
Eventually, the pain did subside and I was able to tolerate the massage more. Then, I thought about the message. I took it literal, “through the pain, I deserve love.” I thought, the pain I feel deserves love… The pain deserves love… Pain deserves love. If I can accept what’s there, then I can give myself what I need to feel better. I relaxed deeper into the massage, into the message, into myself than the voice came back, but this time, I heard something different. It said, “I deserve TO BE loved.” That I, the person, the self, deserves to be loved. To be loved. Be Loved. Beloved. I’m the beloved. Love is inherent in me.
The messages were so powerful that I got the sense they were the key to unlocking the healing potentials of the rejection wound. I realized these statements were not separate, they were connected and they weren’t just for me, but for the world. They are the missing links that establish a new connection, a self-connection. That the experience of pain separates us from the experience of love. It disconnects us from the whole and what we deserve. Once you get that, the magic happens. A new foundation anchors in the sense of self and you reclaim your worth, you take back your innocence, and that emptiness inside starts to fill with love. All those disconnected parts start to link back differently, into a state of wholeness. It's Acceptance and Love that heal the wound of rejection.
InBeauty Blog, Tiny Poet, 10.18.2021
- Emotional Wellness/Wisdom Coaching:
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TIS` THE SEASON OF HEART
December can be quite a magical month and fulfilling time of year. We get a chance to embrace the spirit of holidays and witness the wonder through the eyes of children and adults alike. Tis` the season of heart, when the world steps into a place of family, togetherness, and hope. It’s an end of a year that begins an active path into giving and receiving, rooted in a coming together of values and the essence of home. The season fills the atmosphere with magic; crisp air and snow falling from sky, lights aglow on streets and in homes, long gazes into loved one’s eyes by the crackles of fire and sparks of sweet-hearts. We take care, nestling into hearty foods like soups, stews, and hot chocolate. We bundle up with sweaters, scarves, blankets and loved ones and we find ourselves surround by light, the illumination of our hopes and dreams in the stillness of love within our hearts.
The heart symbolizes life, love and the engagement in partnership. The heart never leads alone... It never beats alone... One pulse follows the other in the direction of union. A sense of union requires partnership. We learn to connect and re-connect through the heart-experience, magnified between a pair of arms that allow us to reach out and touch what we love, while, cradled and comforted between two breasts that safely hold what we feel. We are given an opportunity to feel the magic of life, connection and harmony both, individually and collectively. The season of heart reminds us in order to create a spark of life, we cannot go at it alone. We simply relate and create in a blended continuum of wholeness. The heart does not beat alone... It does not lead alone... One pulse follows the other in complete unification.
This is a time of un-veiling, re-vealing, and an un-folding of self to the inner sweetness of comfort and warmth. It’s a reminder of the mother-child experience, the inner connection and bond of unconditional love. Our very own place to rest soulfully in the wonder and awe, completely disarmed and embraced in the natural state of being. The heart leads us to a clear passage and cleansing, a shedding of old, a point to nurture life and all that we live for. It is a space given in which to surrender, to lay down a clean slate, to be re-born in concept as we celebrate into the new, calm and cradled in the mother energy, inside the season of heart.
#HeartSeason #SpiritofCalm&Comfort #MotherEnergy #CradledInHeartEnergy #TistheSeasonforMagic #HeldinLight
It’s time to get out of the “cookie cutter” version of what healing should look like and shift back into our own personal guidance and experience. Sometimes, the path to healing has us feeling off center and it’s cause for questioning but we forget, feeling off center is also for good purpose. The center balances opposing sides and reveals a place of wholeness. When the scale tips toward into the wound, the other side of balance is overlooked. The gift of wholeness is to be open and available to both sides and to integrate them into conscious balance. Your personal path to healing begins inside wholeness not in one side of experience. Let’s look at pain for example. I’ve thought about pain. Pain is real. Pain is relentless. It reveals itself through the body, not just inside it. It wants to be seen. It beckons to be heard. It tugs at you every minute of every day. Pain is restrictive, trapped in the body with no space for joy and we suffer. Pain is suffering, the physical manifestation of held in, held back, shut down and buried emotion. Your physical body can become the storehouse for ignored, unacknowledged and suppressed emotional energy. Pain is an internal broadcast system for the feelings buried inside, screaming to be heard. To be acknowledged. To be cleared. To be loved.
Every healing journey will not look the same. It’s a personal pursuit-
Have you ever sat with the inner voice of your own pain?
I have. Pain is a lot more than just what we name it. It’s a culmination of stuck emotions, blocked feelings, experiences, memories, unconscious belief systems and unhealthy patterns. Because of this, healing can be an evolution of all experience and acknowledging what exists inside you, begins the path that serves as a direction. All of it is important information to construct a very intimate healing experience. Sometimes the tendency is to give up because you don’t like what you see and it can be hard to move through. This is when healing becomes dedication and time becomes discovery. I thought about pain. I’ve had pain. I’ve worked with pain and then it occurred to me. It came into me like a whole being awareness. The other side of pain, is pleasure. Pleasure. What a revelation! In all these years, it never occurred to me that pleasure was a root deficiency to my experience of pain. I was totally invested inside the pain that I missed out on any form of pleasure. I never embraced the joy of life and in being because I never thought to look at the other side of what the experience of pain had to offer.
I thank God for that moment in wholeness. It moved me. Pleasure was now in the game and enjoying my life became priority. When you embrace the other side, you stop brow beating the wound. You cease falling back into rigid, perfectionism disguised as discipline and the “trigger” has a place to go, a space to flourish. My personal healing did not look like the ideal or what I had anticipated. I found rest. I witnessed no more pushing into life or wanting to force forward. I could feel the grip loosen, I allowed some fun and sweeter foods, exercise was no longer a bloodbath but now conscious movement based on my needs for that day. Yes, I gained some weight but I also embraced that weight and loved myself anyway. My healing journey through pain helped me find a better balance within myself, a conscious balance. It helped me find the opening to the possibility of having pleasure move through me and integrate it into my experience. When you make your healing journey personal; it moves you, it changes you, it transforms you into a state of inner-conscious being. Shift away from the “call to action” approach to healing and move deeper into intimate understanding. Let that be the life-giving medicine you take in.
-Releasing Emotional Patterns
#BecomeYourInnerMostBeing #ConsciousBalance #WoundsAreOurGreatestTeachers
#SeektheOtherSide #BecomeWhole #WholnessMatters
AUTHOR OF INNER BEAUTY BLOGS
Jennifer is a truth seeker and artistic expressionist. She is certified energy therapist, emotional wellness coach, yoga/meditation instructor and intuitive. She is known her poetry and the deep care she feels for others.